I really have so much to write about that it’s not even funny. Too bad none of it is important. But what do you expect from a blog? This is a haven for the irrelevant.

So, every now and then, I’ll get these weird posts to my blog comments. I can only assume that they’re bots of some kind, but why they’ve targeted me, I’m not sure. What I am sure of, is that they really piss me the hell off. It’s kind of like the internet equivalent of cow tipping, you know? Some little punk idiot decides to be cool by writing some script to go out and spam people’s blogs. Now, I can’t with all certainty say that they don’t have creativity or inspiration… but I can make a pretty damn good educated guess. Get a fucking life, and do something productive instead of wasting everyone’s time. That’s what I say. I mean, the posts weren’t even entertaining. They were just like, “gfw” or “cool cool” or “fuk you”. Okay, maybe that last one was a little entertaining, just for sheer pathetic value.

So I spent a good long time going back and deleting all of these bogus entries. And discovered something interesting in the process… I’ve been keeping this blog for about two years now, and I have almost nothing to say. I have to give super props to Sundry for her diligence, since she’s been posting for longer than I have, and she does it nearly every day (or at least a hell of a lot more than I do). That’s impressive.

I want to say that it’s merely indicative that she needs to get a life… but unfortunately she has one. Damn!

Anyway, another thing I came across as I was delving through the past, was the little incident I had some time ago where I ran over the bird in the middle of the road. It reminded me of another recent incident…

I was driving along one night, and out of the corner of my eye I see something run literally right in front of my vehicle (I believe I was driving some kind of SUV). There was absolutely no time for a reaction, and I was treated to that wonderful kind of bump that anyone who’s hit any kind of animal in the road knows all too well. I got this sickening feeling in my stomach, as I was sure it was someone’s cat.

Being the responsible person that I am, I turned around to verify the mess that I had surely made. As I approached, I could see the lump lying in the middle of the lane. It was big. Far too big to be a cat. When I got near enough, I discovered that it was quite possibly the largest raccoon that I’d ever seen (I seem to have this weird magnetism for large animals, I’ve now seen monstrous water rats and raccoons, and I wonder what’s next).

The sheer size of it caused me to stop to take a closer look. I wish I hadn’t, because in doing so, I came to realize that it wasn’t dead. No, it wasn’t just reflexes – the legs were slowly moving, as though it was trying to claw its way back home, to die in peace.

It sucked. Really.

The first thing that popped into my head is that I had seen a couple of police cruisers down the street, sitting at a convenience store. I headed their way, not really sure what my goal was. I approached them, and explained the situation. I guess I was hoping in the back of my head that one of them would just go out and put a bullet in the poor beast’s head or something.

No such luck. The response I got instead was, “I’d hit it again. That’s the humane thing to do.” Gee. Thanks officer.

But that’s what I did. Lined up the vehicle as best I could, and hit the thing again.

Now, I’m pretty much of a mind that animals are just simple critters who don’t know any better, and so when things like this happen, it’s just goddamn tragic. I mean, imagine if you were walking down the street, and a giant rock just appeared out of nowhere, hit you, broke your legs, and left you for dead.

That would suck, right? I’m not just imagining it?

And of course my crisis wasn’t helped at all by the fact that when I went back to verify the death the second time, I was rewarded by getting to view the creature’s reflexive death spasms, it’s tail flicking wildly around.

I’m telling you, I just wanted to go home and curl up in a little ball.

And for some reason, I think I’d be suited as a police officer… Maybe I should think again.

Replies:
4 comments

fuk you

Posted by peachy keen @ 03/06/04 12:17 PM

 

HA! That last comment was from me, in case you couldn’t tell by the fact that I cleveryly entered by name and email address to obscure my identity. Um, the image of the mangled bloody lump of that giant raccoon clawing its way home will be with me for a long time. Damn you. No, fuk you!

Posted by peachy keen @ 03/06/04 12:20 PM

 

Maybe you’d be the sort of police officer that would USE HIS GUN on the poor raccoon. Sheesh. “Hit it again”, thanks officah.

Posted by Sundry @ 04/10/04 05:01 PM

 

Hi Jonathan,

I’ve been getting some strange entries on my site, so I started looking around to find out what it was about, which lead me to you. It looks like it is someone trying to crack Greymatter-based journals. Just thought you should know. I’m considering switching to Moveable Type, but I’m in the middle of final exams, so that’s not going to happen yet.

I read your short stories, and I especially like “Remember me.” You have real talent with your camera. Do you mind telling me what you use? And what film? I have an older EOS, and I mostly use Ilford HP5+, Kodak Tmax P3200, and Fuji NPZ. I’m always looking to learn from others’ experience.

Great site. Keep up the awesome work. The multiple “schema” choices is a nice touch.

Posted by Arkady @ 04/12/04 01:14 PM

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