The GnOme StOry (abridged)

‘ere am Ahy.  Jest sittin’ et me tohypewrohyta, wrohyin’ a story.  Ahy’m callin’ it…


Ahy’m sittin’ ‘ere, mahyndin’ me own business.  In fact, Ahy’m quahyt comf’tabol in the Layzy Boy, the blaynket pulled up ta me chin.  Ahy looks left, then rohyt, scannin’ the room.  All clea’.  Wayt.  Oh, rohyt…all clea’.  Ahy lay me ‘ead back.

“Allo John.”

Me eyes pop open.  It’s stahndin’ the’.  All fou’ inches of it.  The red cap, the gray bea’d, the littol fu’ boot-ies.  It’s a bleedin’ Nome.

“You’ah a bleedin’ Nome.”

“Thaht’s Gnome, bone-’ead.”

“Oh.  Rohyt.”

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