They told me I’d have to sit there until I ate my brussel sprouts. But I didn’t. They left me sitting at the table, alone. Still I didn’t. They said they were going to a movie, and I couldn’t go unless I ate them. So I put them in my mouth. I chewed them. And I stuffed them in my cheek.

They bought it. I thought,”win.”

We drove to the theater, and saw the movie. After it was over, and we’d gotten home, my mother finally noticed. She shook her head, amazed.

“Go spit them out,” she said.

Win.