In my head: Stand Up by “Steel Dragon”

I need to figure out what the hell I’m doing with my art. I have fun doing it (usually), and sometimes I even like how it turns out. However, it takes me so damn long to do a piece – usually because I can’t decide what the fuck I’m doing and will change it 50 times before settling back on the original again – that I’m beginning to feel like I’m wasting TOO much time on it. There are other productive things I could be doing as well. And while like I said, I am having fun, I’m trying to get back onto my personal development kick, and if I’m never going to do anything with my art other than post it to a couple forums hoping for the occasional good comment that will justify the pain I’ve put into it, then I really need to cut back.
But it’s like an addiction. I just can’t stop.

To top it off, I kind of feel like I’m just following in people’s footsteps sometimes. My photo series was only done because I was inspired by someone else who did practically the same thing. My new idea – a photo series combined with Photoshopping, which will be kind of a self-portrait of sorts – feels remarkably to me like my friend John’s Trading Cards of the Bizarre. Now, I know it’s different, and that people do series all the time, but for some reason I can’t stop beating myself up about it. Oh well, I’m going to try and do it anyway. I finished the first one. At least, I think I’m finished. I may end up tweaking it some. And since at the time of writing this I haven’t put it up on my art page (I’ll get to that in a minute), you can see it here.
And that segments nicely into my next bitch-and-moan session, which is: what the hell do I want this website to be, and how am I going to organize it? I suppose I should just stick to having it be a showcase for my work, and a couple of interests. After all, not only is no one going to come to this page, but if someone did, who is goin got give a rat’s ass about what books I like, what my hobbies are, or anything else I have to say? I may just be saying that because I’m so far behind the curve on writing that stuff down, or I may be saying it because I don’t have any idea of how to present said information. But I’m saying it, damnit. And I’m sticking to it. For now.

That still leaves me with not knowing how to organize the material I do want here, and right now that organization sucks. But now is not the time to think about it since I get grumpy and cranky when I haven’t eaten, and you guessed it, I haven’t eaten. So I’m off to figure out whether I want Cap’n Crunch (and no matter how careful I am, it still sometimes manages to scrape the roof of my mouth), or if I should go out on a limb and break open that new box of Apple Jacks.

Decisions… decisions… Me out.

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