There’s a very good reason I haven’t written in a while, and it’s because I got a job. Now, before everyone goes and gets all excited, the reason I haven’t written isn’t because I’ve been working too much to write. No, it’s because the job sucks so bad that when I get home I don’t want to do anything except sit on my ass and do absolutely nothing. You see,…

I had kind of a strange dream the other night: When I was too young to remember, I was in an accident. It left my hand so mangled that I was forced to wear clamp-like devices to keep my fingers straight. I’d always been told that if I took them off, my fingers would once again grow crooked, and this had worked for most of my childhood life. But one day…